A birthday toast with real stories in it.
Big birthdays deserve more than "happy birthday, you do not look a day over...". Tell us a few stories about the person and we turn them into a toast that is funny, kind and personal, the right length for the party and easy to say.
What makes a birthday speech work
- Stories that only you could tell, not jokes you could find on a card.
- At most one light line about the number: age jokes wear thin fast.
- Something sincere about who they have become, before the toast.
- Written to suit the room: an 18th with school friends, an 80th with three generations.
- Printable cue cards and a read-aloud mode to rehearse on the way there.
Dad turned sixty this week, and the family group chat has been busy. Mostly with photos of the 1987 moustache. I will not be showing it tonight. Mum has asked me nicely.
What I want to tell you about instead is a Saturday in 1999, when I was nine and convinced I could not learn to ride a bike. Dad took a whole day off, which he never did, and ran beside me up and down Elm Street until it was dark. He never let go of the seat until I asked him to. He has been doing that for me, in one way or another, ever since.
Read a full birthday speech guide
An invented example, drafted with AI assistance.
How it works
Answer a few questions
Who it is for, how you know them, and two or three stories. About ten minutes. No account needed.
See a free preview
The plan for the speech, its opening lines, and three questions that dig out the detail that makes it land.
Get your speech in a minute
Pay once and watch it being written. Revise it as often as you need, then print cue cards or rehearse with read-aloud.
More than one person giving a toast?
One order for 3 people speaking at the same party or dinner, for example a partner, one of the children and an old friend. You fill in your speech now; each speaker adds their own details later through their own link, and the speeches are coordinated so each one tells different stories.
$69 for 3 coordinated speeches, instead of $29 each. Every speech has its own 10 revisions. On the form, choose the occasion and then “Birthday speech pack: 3 speeches for $69”.
Questions
How long should a birthday speech be?
Two to three minutes at a party, up to five at a sit-down dinner. Short and specific beats long and general every time.
Can I make it funny without being mean?
Yes. Tell us the habits and stories people tease them about and anything that is off limits. The jokes tease, never humiliate, and work for the whole room, grandparents included.
It is a surprise party. Does that change anything?
Mention it in "Anything that must be in it?". The speech can open by welcoming the guest of honour and thanking the people who kept the secret.
Can friends and family send memories for the speech?
Yes. Create a share link on the order form and send it round; you choose which memories go in.