Groom Speech UK: Running Order, Who to Thank and a Full Example

At a British wedding the groom speaks second, straight after the father of the bride, for five to seven minutes, which is roughly 650 to 900 words. You reply to his toast, thank the hosts, both families, the guests, the best man and the ushers, say something true about your wife, hand out any gifts and toast the bridesmaids. Get the order right and the rest is just your stories.

Where the groom speech sits in the running order

Speeches usually come at the end of the wedding breakfast, though some couples hold them before the meal. The traditional order is:

1. The father of the bride welcomes everyone and toasts the bride and groom.
2. The groom replies, gives the thanks and toasts the bridesmaids.
3. The best man replies for the bridesmaids and toasts the couple.

If the bride or maid of honour is speaking too, agree where they slot in. Ask the father of the bride what he'll cover, or send him our father of the bride speech guide, so you don't thank the same people twice.

The structure, part by part

1. Reply to the father of the bride (about 30 seconds)

Thank him for his kind words and his toast, and pick up one thing he said so it's clear you were listening. If her mum spoke first, reply to her. Then comes the traditional line: "On behalf of my wife and me." It usually gets a cheer, so let it.

2. Thank the hosts and both families (about a minute)

Thank the bride's parents first, for welcoming you and for hosting, without mentioning money. If you paid yourselves, give the thanks from you both. Then thank your own parents, with one memory each. If someone close has died, one gentle sentence is enough, worded with your wife beforehand.

3. Thank the guests (about 30 seconds)

Single out anyone who travelled far. A named place or a mildly disastrous journey lands. "Some of you have come a long way" doesn't.

4. Thank the best man, ushers and helpers (about 45 seconds)

Give the best man and ushers a line each, plus any page boys or flower girls. Readers and helpers can share one thank-you.

5. Your wife (two to three minutes)

Tell her she looks wonderful, then show who she is with one story, such as how you met or the moment you knew. End by talking to her, not the room.

6. Gifts, if any (about 30 seconds)

Flowers for the mums or presents for the wedding party? Have an usher hand them over while you talk, or give them privately.

7. The bridesmaids and the toast (about 30 seconds)

Thank the bridesmaids with one detail from the morning, then ask everyone to be upstanding and toast them. The best man takes it from there.

Keeping it to five to seven minutes

At a relaxed pace you'll say roughly 130 words a minute, so seven minutes is about 900 words. Allow about two minutes for thanks and two to three for your wife. The thanks usually overrun, because every name feels compulsory, so ask both mums for their must-mention list and fold the helpers into one sentence. Time it out loud, and if you pass seven minutes, cut a story before a thank-you. Stuck? Start from a draft built around your own people.

A complete example speech

Olly speaks after Freya's dad, Declan, at a church wedding for 120 guests with four bridesmaids.

Thank you, Declan. That was much kinder than the version Freya warned me about. Ladies and gentlemen, on behalf of my wife and me...

Sorry. I've been practising that line for fourteen months and I'd like a moment with it.

Declan and Siobhan, thank you for welcoming me into your family, and for your generosity today. The first time Freya took me home to Leicester, Declan picked me up from the station and asked what I made of the Tigers' front row. I said I didn't follow rugby. It was a very quiet drive. Four years on, I have a season ticket and opinions about scrums. Siobhan, thank you for the soda bread that comes home with me after every visit.

Mum, thank you for nine years of six o'clock lifts to the swimming baths. Dad, thank you for teaching me to drive, and for never mentioning the bollard. You're thinking about it now. I can tell.

Thank you all for coming, some of you from Belfast and Melbourne. We're thinking today of Freya's grandad, Arthur, who taught her cribbage and never let her win. He'd have loved this.

Hamish, thank you for being my best man, and for a stag in Aviemore where it rained for three days. I know the gorge walk is coming, so I'll only say I was wearing a helmet. To the ushers, thank you for getting a hundred and twenty people into the right pews and one great-aunt out of the wrong church.

Freya. You look absolutely stunning. When the doors opened, the vicar had to ask me twice to face the front.

We met in the ferry terminal at Oban, the night the last boat to Mull was cancelled. Within half an hour Freya had befriended the man on the ticket desk, found a charger for a pensioner and got the whole waiting room singing happy birthday to a little girl. Then she turned to me, the stranger glaring at the departures board, and handed me her last packet of crisps. Salt and vinegar. I hate salt and vinegar. I ate every one, and I've never told her. Until now.

You haven't changed. You notice who needs something and sort it before anyone else has looked up. You do it on every shift on the children's ward, and you did it for me the winter Dad was ill, driving to Hereford with me every Sunday without being asked. Today I promised to look after you the way you look after everyone else. I'll need the rest of my life to get good at it.

Mum and Siobhan, these flowers are for you. Hamish and the ushers, there's something under the top table for each of you.

And finally, thank you to the bridesmaids, led by Freya's sister, Niamh. When a button came off Freya's dress at ten to two, one of you had a needle out before she'd noticed. Ladies and gentlemen, please be upstanding and raise your glasses. To the bridesmaids.

Olly's thanks take about two minutes because nobody gets more than one detail: the quiet drive, the soda bread, the bollard. Hamish keeps the stag stories. The crisps get the laugh, but they're also the first time Olly quietly put up with something for Freya, which is what he promises to keep doing. With laughs it runs about five minutes.

You'll have your own cancelled ferry. Let our speech writer draft your groom speech from a few answers about your wife and both families, then rewrite it until it sounds like you.

A shorter example: a small wedding you paid for yourselves

Kit and Bea paid for their own forty-guest pub wedding, and Bea's mum, Hilary, spoke first. His runs under two minutes.

Thank you, Hilary. I've had a mother-in-law for three hours and she's already made me cry twice.

Bea and I put today together ourselves, so these thanks come from both of us. Thank you to our families, who drove up from Exeter and down from Carlisle to meet in a Derbyshire pub, where most good things in my life have started. Thank you to my brother, Ed, for being best man, and for promising to keep his speech under ten minutes. We'll see.

I'm not good at speeches. Bea knows, because she's heard me practise this one in the car eleven times. So I'll just say the true thing. Every good decision I've made in six years, she was in the room for. Today was the easiest one.

Our bridesmaid, Nell, is Bea's oldest friend. She did Bea's hair, carried her flowers and leaned over during the signing to tell me, unprompted, that my flies were done up. Exactly what I needed. Please stand and raise your glasses. To Nell.

Opening lines and closing toasts you can adapt

Openers

• "Thank you, [Name]. I'm not nervous, but I have been to the gents three times since the starter."
• "Thank you, [Name]. In [six] years that's the first nice thing you've said about me in public. I'll treasure it."
• "I'm told the groom's job is to thank people, so I'll start with [Partner], for turning up."
• "[Partner] gave me five minutes, and I've already used one deciding whether to undo my jacket."

Closing toasts

• "Ladies and gentlemen, please be upstanding and raise your glasses. To the bridesmaids."
• "Please stand. To the bridesmaids, who got [Partner] to the church on time, and very nearly me."
• "Glasses up, everyone. To [Bridesmaid], [Bridesmaid] and [Bridesmaid], and the safety pins in their handbags."
• "To the bridesmaids. [Best man], over to you, and remember my mum is sitting at the front."

Common mistakes

• Not replying. Skip straight to your script and the father of the bride is left hanging. Answer one thing he said.
• Toasting the bride and groom. That's the father of the bride's toast, and the best man usually proposes it again. Yours is to the bridesmaids, and it comes last.
• Reading out every supplier. "Everyone at the venue who looked after us today" covers it. Thank the florist properly in a card.
• Telling the stag stories. They're the best man's. Agree who tells what, and point him to our best man speech guide if he hasn't started.

Delivery tips

• Don't drink to yourself. The father of the bride's toast is to you both, so stay seated and leave your glass on the table while the room drinks, then stand.
• Label the gifts and stash them under the top table so nobody rummages mid-speech.
• Bold every name on your cards, with a pronunciation note for any you might trip over.
• Tell the bridesmaids to stay seated for their toast. People being toasted don't stand or drink to themselves.

FAQ

When does the groom speak at a UK wedding?

Second, after the father of the bride and before the best man, usually at the end of the wedding breakfast. If others are speaking too, confirm the order with your toastmaster or venue.

How long should a groom speech be in the UK?

Five to seven minutes, roughly 650 to 900 words. Time it out loud, and make the part about your wife the longest.

Who does the groom thank, and in what order?

The father of the bride for his speech, then her parents as hosts, your parents, the guests, the best man and ushers, and anyone who helped. Then your wife, any gifts and finally the bridesmaids, whose toast closes your speech.

What if there are no bridesmaids?

Toast whoever stood with your wife instead, such as a bridesman or a sister who signed as witness. If nobody did, toast the two families or absent friends, and tell the best man so he knows what he's replying to.