Groom Speech: What to Say, Who to Thank and a Full Example

A groom speech should run three to five minutes, which is about 400 to 650 words at a relaxed speaking pace. Thank your guests and both families, give the wedding party a moment, and spend the biggest and best part talking about your new spouse before you raise a toast. That is the whole job, and you can do it well even if you hate public speaking.

How to structure a groom speech

Your speech has two jobs: thanking the people who made the day happen, and telling the room why you married this person. Most grooms rush the second job. Don't.

1. Welcome everyone (about 30 seconds)

Introduce yourself in one line and thank guests for coming, with a nod to anyone who traveled a long way.

2. Thank both families (about a minute)

Start with your spouse's parents. Thank them for welcoming you, and if they hosted or helped pay for the wedding, thank them for that too, without mentioning money. Then thank your own parents. One specific memory for each, like your first dinner at your in-laws' house, beats a paragraph of compliments.

3. Remember anyone who is missing (a sentence or two)

If a grandparent or parent has passed away or couldn't make it, a brief, warm acknowledgment is enough. Say it, let it sit for a beat, then move on gently.

4. Thank the wedding party (about 30 seconds)

Thank your best man and groomsmen, and your spouse's attendants too, with one specific line per group. If the best man speaks after you, send him our best man speech guide and compare notes so you don't tell the same story.

5. Talk about your spouse (about two minutes)

This is the heart of the speech, roughly half its length. Tell how you met or the moment you knew, then give one or two examples of who they are. "She made me three hundred flashcards" says more than "she's so supportive."

6. Raise the toast (about 15 seconds)

Ask everyone to raise a glass and toast your spouse by name. Keep the last line short so people know exactly when to drink.

A complete example speech

Good evening, everyone. I'm Andre, the guy who promised himself he wouldn't cry during the vows and lasted about eleven seconds. Thank you all for being here. Some of you flew in from Seattle, and my uncle Ray took a Greyhound from Tulsa because he still doesn't trust airports. It means the world to both of us that you came.

Rich and Donna, thank you for welcoming me into your family long before today made it official. The first time Natalie brought me home for dinner, I was so nervous I complimented the pot roast three separate times. Donna, you just kept quietly putting more on my plate, and that's when I knew I'd be okay. Rich, thank you for trusting me with your daughter, and for the indefinite loan of your good ladder. I will return it. Eventually.

Mom and Dad, thank you for everything that got me to this room. Dad, you taught me to do the job right the first time. Mom, you taught me to say what I feel out loud, which is the only reason this speech exists. And Grandpa Joe, who we lost in March, I'm wearing your watch today. You would have liked her a lot.

Luke, my brother and best man, thank you for a bachelor weekend with a lot of fishing, very few fish and only one capsized canoe. And Jess, Tara and Monique, thank you for keeping Natalie calm, fed and on schedule this morning. I'm told there was an emergency involving a dress steamer. I'm told you won.

Now, Natalie. We met at the DMV on Kessler Avenue. She was number 47, I was number 48, and we had a two-hour wait ahead of us. Twenty minutes in, she leaned over, looked at my form and said, very kindly, "You put your birthday in the zip code box." She lent me her pen. I never gave it back. It's in my jacket pocket right now.

Five years later, you're still catching what I miss. And when I failed my electrician's licensing exam the first time, you made three hundred flashcards and quizzed me every night for four months, including once in the checkout line at Costco. When I passed, you cried harder than I did.

That's who you are. When someone you love is struggling, you don't just feel bad for them. You pull up a chair, you get out a pen, and you help them fill in the right boxes. I promised you today that I'd do the same for you, for the rest of our lives.

So if everyone would please raise a glass. To Natalie, my wife, the only person on earth who could make a trip to the DMV the best day of my life. To Natalie.

Every thank-you gets one concrete detail instead of a list of names, and the jokes land on Andre, his uncle and a canoe, never on Natalie. The story about her moves from funny (the zip code box) to serious (the flashcards), and the pen ties it all together. When you're ready to do the same with your own stories, write your groom speech in a few minutes.

Opening and closing lines you can adapt

Swap in your names, and change "wife" to "husband" where you need to.

Openings

• "I'm [Name], and I've been told the groom should keep this short, so I've trimmed it down to a tight forty-five minutes."
• "Before I say anything else, I want to try out two words I've been practicing all week: my wife."
• "Looking around, I see people who've known [Partner] since kindergarten and people who knew me during my frosted-tips phase. Somehow you all ended up in the same room, and that's exactly the point."
• "I've heard a lot of grooms call themselves the luckiest guy in the room. I assumed they were exaggerating. Tonight I owe every one of them an apology."

Closings

• "To [Partner], who makes every ordinary Tuesday better than I thought a Tuesday could be."
• "I don't know exactly what the next fifty years look like, but I know who I want next to me for all of them. To my wife."
• "To our families, who got us here, and to [Partner], who makes me want to deserve all of them. Cheers."
• "Now please eat, drink and get on the dance floor before my uncle does. To [Partner]."

Common mistakes

• Forgetting someone. Write your thank-you list a week early, check it with your spouse and both sets of parents, and read the names from your card on the day.
• Reading a roll call. Twenty individual thank-yous drain the room. Group the vendors, travelers and helpers into one line.
• Exes and bachelor party stories. Nothing about past relationships, ever. What happened on the fishing trip stays on the fishing trip.
• All thanks, no heart. If your spouse gets one line after three minutes of gratitude, the balance is wrong.
• Compliments with no proof. "She's beautiful, smart and kind" is true and forgettable. One story that shows it is worth ten adjectives.
• Drinking for courage. One drink before you speak is plenty. Slurred thank-yous get repeated for the wrong reasons.

Delivery tips

• Time it out loud. At a typical speaking pace, a 550-word speech runs about four minutes.
• Rehearse five times. Twice alone, once for someone honest, then twice more after you fix what they flagged.
• Use cards, not your phone. Large font, one section per card, numbered. Phones dim, buzz and make you look like you're checking a score.
• Look at the people you're thanking. Your in-laws, then your parents, then your spouse for the final section.
• Wait for the laugh. If a line gets a laugh, let it finish before you start the next one.
• Handle the logistics. Ask the DJ to introduce you, test the mic, hold it close to your mouth and have a drink in hand for the toast.

FAQ

When does the groom give his speech?

Traditionally the father of the bride or the host speaks first, followed by the groom, then the best man and maid of honor. Confirm the running order with your planner or DJ so everyone knows when they're up.

How long should a groom speech be?

Three to five minutes, roughly 400 to 650 words. If several people are speaking, aim for the shorter end. Nobody leaves a reception wishing the groom had talked longer.

Who should the groom thank in his speech?

At minimum, thank the guests, both sets of parents, anyone who hosted or paid for the wedding, and the wedding party. Group everyone else, such as vendors, readers and helpers, into a line or two. Then turn to your spouse.

Is it okay to read my speech from notes?

Yes. Nobody expects a groom to memorize a speech, and cards beat losing your place. Know it well enough to look up often, especially during the part about your spouse. If you'd like a polished draft to practice from, you can get one built from your own stories and make it yours.