Wedding speech order planner

Choose a tradition and tick who is giving a speech. You get the traditional running order, who usually toasts whom, a suggested length for each speech and the total time. Traditions are a guide, not a rule: plenty of couples change the order.

Your wedding

Who is speaking? Untick anyone who is not giving a speech, tick the optional ones to add them.

Wedding speech order · Wellspeech · getwellspeech.com/tools/wedding-speech-order

Your running order

American (US) · 3 speeches · about 10 minutes of speeches in all

  1. about 2 minutes usually 1 to 3 minutes

    Welcome by the host or a parent

    A short welcome and thank-you, traditionally from the bride’s parents as hosts, or from whoever is hosting. It often opens the toasts.

    Toast to: the couple

    Outline this speech

  2. about 4 minutes usually 3 to 5 minutes

    Maid of honor

    A story or two about the bride, or the partner she stands beside, and a sincere word about the couple.

    Toast to: the couple

    Outline this speech

  3. about 4 minutes usually 3 to 5 minutes

    Best man

    A story or two about the groom, or the partner he stands beside, and a sincere word about the couple. Often the last of the main toasts.

    Toast to: the couple

    Outline this speech

About this tradition

At an American reception the toasts usually begin once the guests are seated, often during or just after dinner. A host, often a parent of the couple, or the MC welcomes everyone and introduces the speakers.

The maid of honor and the best man give the main toasts, in either order. The groom’s parents traditionally host the rehearsal dinner the evening before and often give their toast there, so they may not speak at the reception.

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Who speaks first at a wedding?

It depends on the tradition, and every one of them is flexible.

  • British: traditionally the father of the bride, then the groom, then the best man, usually after the meal.
  • American: a welcome from the host or a parent, then the maid of honor and the best man, in either order.
  • German and Swiss: no fixed order. Often the bride’s father opens the dinner, and the other speeches come between courses.
  • French: no fixed order. Often the witnesses, then the parents, and the newlyweds last.

Getting the running order right

  • Tell every speaker their place and their time a few weeks before, so nobody is surprised on the day.
  • Agree who tells which story, so two speeches never share one.
  • Give the running order to the venue or the caterer, so no course is served in the middle of a speech.
  • Ask one person, a host, an MC or a toastmaster, to introduce each speaker and keep time.
  • If many people want to speak, keep each speech to three or four minutes, or spread them through the meal. The speech length calculator shows how many words fit.

Questions

What is the traditional order of wedding speeches in the UK?

Traditionally the father of the bride speaks first, then the groom, then the best man. Many couples now add a speech by the bride or the maid of honour; there is no fixed place for these, and just before the best man is a common choice.

Who gives the first toast at an American wedding?

Often the host, traditionally a parent of the bride, welcomes the guests and opens the toasts. The maid of honor and the best man follow, in either order, and the couple may close with a thank-you.

Who toasts whom at a wedding?

Most toasts are to the couple. In the British tradition the groom toasts the bridesmaids and the best man replies on their behalf. A thank-you from the couple often ends with a toast to the guests.

How long should each wedding speech be?

A best man or maid of honour speech usually runs 3 to 5 minutes, a father of the bride speech about 5, and a British groom’s speech 5 to 7. A welcome or a thank-you can be shorter. The planner adds up the speeches you choose.

More help