Eulogy for Grandma or Grandpa: How to Write It, With an Example

A eulogy for grandma or grandpa usually runs three to five minutes, or about 400 to 700 words. Share a short sketch of who they were, two or three specific memories that capture them, what they gave you and your family, and a simple goodbye. You don't need to tell their whole life story, only to help the room see them clearly one more time.

What a grandchild brings to a eulogy

Their children knew them as parents, but you knew the version of them who kept candy in their pockets, taught you card games and let you stay up late. That view from the kitchen table is your material, and it's what the room most wants to hear.

A simple structure

1. Introduce yourself

Say your name and how you're related, especially if many guests know your grandparent from church, work or the neighborhood. "I'm Emily, June's oldest grandchild" is plenty.

2. Give a brief sketch of their life

Two to four sentences: where they grew up, who they married, what they did for work, where they raised their family. Check names, dates and places with your parents or aunts and uncles first.

3. Share two or three specific memories

This is the heart of the eulogy. Choose memories that show character: the way your grandfather whistled while he fixed things, the phrase your grandmother said every time you left, the game she never let you win.

4. Say what they gave you

Name what you carry forward, whether it's a habit, a recipe, a saying or a way of treating people. This is where memory turns into meaning.

5. Say goodbye

End with a direct, simple farewell. Speaking to your grandparent by name, or calling back to one of your memories, gives the room a moment to breathe.

Finding the memories when your mind goes blank

Grief can make it hard to remember anything at all. Answer these on paper, quickly, without editing yourself:

• What did their house smell like, and where did you usually sit?
• What did they always have in their pockets, purse or car?
• What did they say when you arrived, and when you left?
• What did they make, fix, grow or collect?

Then ask a cousin or sibling the same questions. If you have the memories but can't find the shape, you can start a draft of your grandparent's eulogy and change every word that doesn't sound like you.

A complete example eulogy

Good morning. I'm Emily, June's oldest grandchild. Thank you all for being here. Grandma would have counted the cars in the parking lot and been quietly thrilled.

June Harlow was born in 1938 in Decatur, Illinois, the youngest of five. She married my grandpa Walt in 1959, raised three children in the yellow house on Elm Street, and spent thirty-one years as the school secretary at Lincoln Elementary. If you went to Lincoln between 1968 and 1999, she knew your name, she knew your mother's name, and she probably had a bandage and a butterscotch waiting for you in her desk drawer.

Those butterscotches were everywhere. In her coat pockets, in her purse, in the glove box of the tan Buick she drove until she was eighty-one. I don't think I ever hugged her without hearing the crinkle of a wrapper.

She taught me to play gin rummy at her kitchen table when I was six, and she never once let me win. She said a win means more when you've earned it. I finally beat her the summer I turned nineteen. She laid down her cards, looked at me over the top of her glasses and said, "Well. It's about time." Then she went straight to the phone and called my mom to brag.

Grandma wrote letters. Real ones, in green ink, on stationery with tiny violets at the top. When I went away to college, one came every single week. Most were about her tomatoes, which she named, and the neighbors, whom she did not name but described in tremendous detail. There was usually a five-dollar bill tucked inside "for something fun, not books." I kept every one of those letters in a shoebox, and last night I read a few of them again.

But what she really gave us wasn't the candy or the cards or the letters. It was the feeling of being paid attention to. When you talked to Grandma, she put down whatever she was doing and looked right at you. She had eleven grandchildren, and somehow every one of us was sure we were her favorite.

When something went wrong, a burned pie or a dented fender or a bad semester, she would say, "Well, that's one way to do it," and then help you find the next way. I've caught myself saying it to my own kids, and I expect I'll be saying it for the rest of my life.

Grandma, thank you for the letters, the long card games and every last butterscotch. Thank you for paying attention. I'm teaching my kids gin rummy now, and I want you to know I don't let them win either.

This eulogy trusts small things. The butterscotch, the green ink and the gin rummy game carry more feeling than any list of virtues. The gentle humor comes from who she was, never at her expense, and the closing promise turns a memory into something that continues. If you're struggling to find the words, you can begin with the memories you already have and shape a draft that sounds like your family.

Opening and closing lines you can adapt

These work for a grandmother or a grandfather.

Openings

• "I'm [Name], one of [Grandparent]'s [number] grandchildren, and I want to tell you about someone who made every one of us feel like the most important person in the room."
• "If you knew my grandfather, you knew two things about him. He was always fifteen minutes early, and he always had a pocketknife. I'd like to tell you about the man behind both."
• "When I sat down to write this, I tried to think about my grandmother's whole life at once, and I couldn't. So instead I want to tell you about her kitchen."
• "Most of you knew her as [Full Name]. To [number] of us, she was simply Nana, and I think that was the title she was proudest of."

Closings

• "Grandma, thank you for [specific thing]. We'll take it from here."
• "I'm going to miss his voice on the phone every Sunday night. But I'll hear it every time I [habit he taught you]. Thank you, Grandpa."
• "She ended every phone call the same way, with 'Love you, bye now.' So, Grandma, love you. Bye now."
• "If you want to honor him, do what he did. Plant something. Fix something for a neighbor. Call your mother."

Common mistakes

• Trying to cover their whole life. The obituary and the program can carry the timeline. You carry the person.
• Getting the facts wrong. A wrong date or name can sting in a room full of family. Have a parent read your draft.
• Speaking only in general terms. "She was kind, generous and loving" is true of many people. Show it with one story and the room will supply the adjectives.
• Including stories that could hurt someone. Leave out old family conflicts, details of their illness and anything that might embarrass them or a living relative.
• Overlapping with other speakers. If a parent or cousin is also speaking, compare notes so you don't tell the same story twice.

Delivery tips

• Print it large. Use a 14- to 16-point font, double spaced, with page numbers. Paper won't dim or lock while you're speaking.
• Read it out loud several times. The lines that make you choke up get a little easier each time.
• If you get emotional, stop. Look down at the page, take a slow breath, sip some water and start again when you're ready. Keep a glass and tissues at the lectern. Nobody will mind. Tears at a grandparent's funeral are a sign of love, and people will wait for you.
• Have a backup reader. Ask a sibling, cousin or friend to sit near the front with a printed copy. Agree on a simple signal, like turning toward them, so they can step up and finish if you can't. Knowing they're there often means you won't need them.
• Look up for your first and last lines. The rest can be read straight from the page.

FAQ

How long should a eulogy for a grandparent be?

Three to five minutes is typical, which is about 400 to 700 words. Ask the officiant or funeral director how much time you have before you start writing.

Is it okay to include funny stories in a eulogy?

Yes, as long as the humor is affectionate and comes from who your grandparent was. A story about their competitive card playing can bring real relief to a grieving room. Avoid anything that makes them the butt of the joke.

What if I wasn't close to my grandparent?

Focus on what you did know, even if it's small, and borrow memories from people who knew them well. You can say, "My mom tells me..." and share her story.

What if several grandchildren want to speak?

Consider one shared eulogy, with each grandchild reading a section or a single memory. Agree on the order ahead of time and have one person open and close.